The Five Barriers to Asking
Before we can use the power of asking, we must first overcome the stumbling blocks that keep us from using this ability. Canfield and Hansen begin the book by revealing the five barriers to asking that are the main reasons we don’t ask for what we want.
What oftentimes keeps us from asking in the first place is not knowing what to ask for. Either we don’t know what is available to us because our lack of exposure to it or we are so out of touch with who we are that we can’t really perceive what our real wants and desires are.
Another issue, which Canfield and Hansen cover in depth later in the book, is how to ask. Some of us may know what it is that we do want, but because we don’t know how to ask for it, we never obtain what it is that we want.
- Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs
The second stumbling block to asking for what we want are the limiting beliefs we choose to accept which have been programmed into our subconscious. These end up controlling all our actions — oftentimes unbenknownst to us.
Another common barrier to asking is fear. This could be fear of looking stupid, fear of being powerless, fear of punishment or fear of humiliation. However, the main fear that stops most of us from asking is the fear of rejection. Although entirely produced by your mind, fear is a very real emotion that, unless overcome, it can paralyze you from making any progress.
- Low Self-Esteem
Diane Loomans said, “I believe the fear of unworthiness is the greatest obstacle that prevents people from asking for what they want. When I know I’m worthy, it’s easy to ask.” Studies have shown that only one out of three people has high self-esteem. Most of us in fact feel unworthy of happiness, fulfillment and love and inadequate to create the life that we desire.
Perhaps the most overlooked obstacle, our own pride can be a major stumbling block to our asking. Problematic for both sexes but especially for men, the expectation that we are supposed to be able to figure it out by ourselves becomes ingrained as a part of our culture. A need to show our independence or not wanting to appear weak or needy are symptoms of pride which refuse to allow us to ask others for guidance.
The Benefits of Asking
So if asking is such an important skill to have, what are the benefits? Well, according to Canfield and Hansen, one of the main reasons to ask is that you will take control of your life. By realizing that all things are available to you if you just ask, you will come to know that you can accomplish anything your heart desires. This will propel your self-esteem higher than ever imagined and you will really come to believe in your dreams and your ability to achieve them. This is very powerful.
More fulfilling relationships, an increase in personal power, a more enriching lifestyle, and maximized talents and skills are all available to you. All you have to do is ask.
The Masters of the Lamp
History has shown many people who have mastered the art of asking for and getting what they want. Many of these masters have, despite being presented with all kinds of roadblocks, learned to shape their destinies just by mastering the principles of asking.
One of the main things that sets these masters apart from others is that they constantly ask for anything and everything they need. This could be time, assistance, instruction, mentoring and coaching. They ask others to show them how to paint, juggle, tie a knot, sing, fix their car and so on. They ask for money, grants, loans, subsidies, people to invest in their businesses, donate to their causes, buy their products and much more. And most of all, if they can do it, so can you! You just need to adopt the Seven Characteristics of the Masters of the Lamp:
- They know what they want.
- They believe they are worthy to receive it.
- They believe they can get it.
- They are passionate about it.
- They take action in the face of fear.
- They learn from their experience.
- They are persistent.
The Aladdin Factor is the twenty-second of fifty-two books in Life Training – Online’s series 52 Personal Development Books in 52 Weeks.